Developing our self-compassionate muscles…

Kristin Neff, a seminal researcher on Self-Compassion, developed a short and affirming exercise called the self-compassion break (2019) and it is a favourite of mine. For this adapted exercise, you begin by closing your eyes and recalling a person or event that is triggering a stress response. Focus on the situation, engaging your heart and mind so that you experience the stress of that moment. From this space, you will talk to yourself just like you would talk to a dear friend. You will begin by mindfully reminding yourself that:

1. “This right now is a moment of stress” (or hurt, pain, suffering, whatever sounds most natural for you).

2. “You aren’t alone, these feelings (pain, suffering) is a normal (natural) part of life.” “Other’s struggle in this way too.”

3. Think of a phrase that you most need to hear right now, something that expresses empathy and kindness. For this, you can speak in the I, or continue to speak to yourself as you would a dear friend, whichever enables you to receive it best. For example, you might say:

“you deserve compassion in this moment”

“I fully love and accept you as you are right now”

“May you forgive yourself for not knowing then what you know now. Making mistakes and learning and growing as we go is part of life.”

“May you have the courage to be imperfect.”

“Even though I feel…. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

This self-compassionate exercise reminds us that difficult emotions are a part of life, that we are not alone, and that we are deserving of unconditonally positive regard.

Neff, K. (2019). The Self-Compassion Break. Retrieved from https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
brown rope tangled and formed into heart shape on brown wooden rail

The Golden Rope

The most powerful medicine flows through connection to the pilot light within us, and the felt sense of ‘community’ among us. The word community remains

Read More

In it

Pause.  I’m in shock.  How did I get here again?  Shit!  I’ve been swept away, like surfing on a tidal wave, feeling high and accomplished

Read More

The Journey

By Kelsey Voysey. A personal account by a fellow traveler #1 WorkdaysThe alarm goes off. Morning. 6am. The routine is always the same. Either roll

Read More

Music as Medicine

Written by Phil and Shannon Dames Combined with intention and a secure set and setting, music is an excellent way to metabolize strong emotions and

Read More