We have be using RAINN to:
-Recognize what is emerging in us (noticing what we notice),
-Allowing and accepting emotions as they are (like a guest in our house),
-Investigating thoughts and emotions with curiosity (is it really true in this circumstance?),
-Not attaching (stepping back by using stress busters, enabling a space between us and the threatening feeling), and finally and most importantly, learning to habitually
-Nurture ourselves with loving-kindness (self-compassion).
Let’s continue noticing what we notice, turning our focus to noticing those moments we lose time/having fun/feeling joy. Keeping RAINN at the forefront, this noticing is how we recognize what is happening, allowing it to be without resistance or judgment, investigating what is beneath and around it with an open curiosity, stepping back – not attaching/over identifying with what arises, and nurturing ourselves with kindness (defusing tendencies to ruminate on self-depreciating thoughts).
By working with ourselves and others in this way, we can recognize projections as opportunities for healing (allowing us to feel pain so that old wounds can be healed), aligning with our authentic self by being willing to express ourselves (congruence), and developing confidence in our inner and outer resources to navigate challenges before they become chronic stressors (sense of coherence).
In this final session, we will discuss the ins and outs of developing relationships of PERCEIVED unconditional positive regard, which enables us to feel safe to be authentic (integrating those pieces left in the shadow/bag). To perceive it, it takes vulnerability, how is that going?
Consider relationships at work and home, have you had an opportunity to authentically express yourself in a new way? what are you noticing about your willingness to do so?
Going onto week 3, perhaps you are finding the initial awareness from day one and day two seems more distant, harding to reach. This is normal and an excellent opportunity to practice self-compassion, cultivate a sense of newness as we adjust steps to attune to what is, right now, in the midst of this busy life.
I am my silence. I am not the busyness of my thoughts or the daily rhythm of my actions. I am not the stuff that constitutes my world. I am not my talk. I am not my actions. I am my silence. I am the consciousness that perceives all these things. When I go to my consciousness, to that great pool of silence that observes the intricacies of my life, I am aware that I am me. I take a little time each day to sit in silence so that I can move outward in balance into the great clamour of living. (Wagamese, 2016)
**side note, habits take about 66 days to form… moving us from effort/awkwardness to ease/automaticity. Picking up a tool, moving it from effort to ease enables you to naturally begin to integrate it into your way of life. When this happens, these tools can fill gaps that we otherwise may fill with habits that may no longer be serving us.