Chapter 12 – Generativity: Your Way Forward

Acknowledging our existing resources is important to bolster our confidence in our ability to navigate life’s challenges (improving our sense of coherence). Use the root portion of the tree below to acknowledge your inner resources – those qualities of self that ground you, providing you with a sense of confidence and joy as you move […]
Chapter 11 – Connecting with Spirit

The word spirituality can mean very different things to different people, as it often gets lumped in with religion. A definition we have found useful comes from the Maori Program: Just Therapy “Instead of the traditional European worldview that separates physical and spiritual values, we learned to respect the sacredness of all life. Spirituality for us […]
Chapter 10 – Attachment Styles and the Significant Thing

Expanding awareness of attachment tendencies (how we tend to connect to others) and their antidotes helps us interrupt old and often unhelpful patterns. Out of tune attachment patterns cloud the signal of who we are with the noise of the stress response and the defensive behaviours that result. As children, we learn how to attach (connect) based on how […]
Chapter 9 – Coming Home to the Body – Emotions in the Body

Our somatic intelligence refers to how aware we are of the sensations of the body, and how able we are to interpret and respond to these sensations (De Silva, 2017). Research shows that strengthening this form of intelligence improves our decision-making capacity and prevents us from taking unnecessary risks (Yip, Stein, Côté, & Carney, 2020) and makes […]
Chapter 8 – Liminal Space and the Window of Tolerance

The word liminal comes from the Latin word ‘limen’, meaning threshold. A threshold is a door or gap between two spaces. It’s a space between the ‘what was’ and ‘what is next’. Think transition, waiting, uncertainty. This could be after the break-up of a significant relationship, or just before starting a new job. Author and Franciscan friar […]
Chapter 7 – Mindful & Heartful Listening: Unconditional Positive Regard in Action

One powerful way we learn to practice giving unconditional positive regard is through cultivating mindful and heartful listening. It explores how we can listen at greater depth, using our own hearts and bodies to find greater attunement with others. When we are able to attune with one another, our nervous system is able to relax […]
Chapter 6 – Self-Compassion: Unconditional Positive Regard Turned Inward

o be congruent, we must first develop self-compassion. Self-compassion enables us to hold awareness from a place of abundance, as we provide unconditional positive regard inwardly. = I am good enough. Awareness without self-compassion promotes perfectionism, fixing our eyes on what is wrong. Fueled by the shame of missing the mark. = I am not […]
Chapter 5 – Unconditional Positive Regard

Unconditional positive regard means accepting another person for who they are. Positive regard is not withdrawn if the person makes a mistake or if they show up in an irritating way. It’s not about approving or disapproving of another’s behaviours. It’s about respecting one another as human beings, with free will and operating under the […]
Chapter 4 – Supporting the Body and Holding Space for What IS

Attuning to Signal “Some of us remember the days we listened to the radio with analogue dials. We turned the dial to get to our favorite radio station, and heard static as we moved the dial in between stations. The static was the noise, making it hard to hear the clear radio signal of the […]
Chapter 3 – Healing in Community

Many of us live in cultures that teach us we need to look out for ourselves, because no one else will. To survive, we must perform to receive acceptance and material resources, and there is a belief that there are limited amounts of either, so we believe we need to compete with each other. Enough […]