Written by Dr. Crosbie Watler
What is our highest purpose? Is it our work? Our family? Or some other role, relationship, achievement in this waking dream of “my life”?
Muscling through our lives, our choices are often programmed and unconscious. We choose on the basis fear, insecurity, greed. We reflect on “What do I want?” when what we want might not be what we need.
Let’s begin our journey this evening by reflecting on the following questions:
Who am I?
What do I want—no, what do l need?
What is my purpose?
These are the so-called “soul questions.” Whether we are aware of them or not, our answer to these questions will determine whether we stumble through life in a state of fear and reactivity, or with clear purpose and calm intention.
Almost invariably, these questions provoke discomfort. We struggle with these questions, even when they are not in our awareness. They create angst, despair. We busy ourselves as a distraction, seeking just one more checkmark in doing mode to “make us happy.”
This new job will make me happy. This new partner will make me happy. Losing 10 pounds will make me happy. This move will make me happy— the geographic cure. How’s this working for you? For me? We’ve boiled the ocean in doing mode, yet here we are, with a pandemic of anxiety, depression and existential despair.
We have simply forgotten who we are and looking in the wrong place to recover it. We are human BEings, not human DOings. If there is any satisfaction in doing mode, enjoy it. It won’t last for long. The endless quest for something out there to “make” me happy. Trying to fill our bucket, but it’s never enough. There’s a hole in the bucket…
The journey is not in seeking new landscapes, but in seeing with new eyes.
What exactly do we need to see with new eyes? Ourselves. Self awareness. Everything that’s righteous flows from there. This is the foundation of the whole enterprise, without which we will never awaken to our highest purpose. We are simply blowing in the wind, at the whim of ego, conditioned mind.
We need to see ourselves—experience ourselves—as we did on the day of our birth. Awareness without boundaries. Free and clear space. The stillness of no mind. Simply “I am.” No condition. Before we drank the Kool-Aid and started telling ourselves stories about who we are:
I am a failure.
I am unlovable.
I am—or will be—alone. I am lost.
Sound familiar?
The shift begins by looking beyond the veil of form. The external “reality” that we construct at the level of the conditioned mind and the illusion of our senses. At this level of consciousness—waking consciousness—we have the subject-object split. Here I am with finite boundaries and there you are. Fertile ground for me versus you, or us versus them. The territory of Donald J Trump.
This is the waking dream and it is a primary cause of suffering. The ancient sages called it Maya—the illusion of the senses. At this level of consciousness, our senses lie to us. We see just 4% of the visible universe. We see finite boundaries—disconnection—when in fact, there is a continuous field of energy and matter where we merge with everything around us. This is the healing field where the magic happens. Connection. Within and without. Ahum Brahmasmi…I am the Universe.
Ultimate truth—there are two of you—of me—in the game of life. The doing and the being. On the day of your birth, you were totally immersed in being. The silent witness. They say we “grow up”. At the level of form we grow, we develop a cortex. Intelligence perhaps, but not much wisdom.
We confuse achievement with worth—net worth. By the time we are out of diapers, we have already steeped in doing mode. We hear “hurry up” from a parent. “Put your thinking cap on” from a teacher. Well intentioned, but unconscious.
Who we really are is hidden behind the veil of sensations, images, feelings and thoughts. The turning of the conditioned mind. The monkey mind. Like clouds blocking the sun. We succumb to the collective delusion: “I think, therefore, I am.” But, we were born into the sun. Clear, blue sky is our birthright. It was all we knew. Before we lost our way.
We might not know who we are, but we know it when we see it. We see it—feel it—when we look into a baby’s eyes. Or when a beloved pet walks into room. We love them, because we see in them the essence of who we are. Babies and small furry animals don’t say a thing, yet we feel their gravitational pull. Their healing field. Like medicine. Washing over us. Simply holding…space.
We often worry what’s the right thing to say. In truth, our
words alone carry little weight—less than 10% of human communication is the content of speech—it is where we show up from when we speak them. Or where we listen from. Are we listening deeply?
How do we hang out there more often—holding space for others? For ourselves? Our parents might not have done it for us. That ship has sailed. They did the best with the tools they had—their own awareness—or lack thereof. Forgive them—they know not what they do—they were/or are unconscious.
Time to do it for yourself. This is too important to outsource…looking for someone or something to “make” you happy. Make you whole. The time is now. Time to drop the stories. In doing mode you never were and never will be perfect. Get over it. At the level of being, you are already perfect.
Anchor in that awareness, with an intention to do better. But the outcomes, the roles does not define you. They will come and go, like the weather. You are not the weather. You are the witness of the weather.
Whether in the medicine, or in this waking dream, shift your attention, with intention to inner space. The pause between the in breath and the out breath. Light switch….down. Are you there now? In the healing field of spacious awareness. Catch yourself when you lose it— Why am I thinking? Is it serving any purpose, or simply filling up, space?
“It’s time. You can feel it knocking. It’s time to sit in front of the mirror where you can’t lie to yourself anymore about who you are…” Duncan Grady.
Mirroring. I see you. Now see yourself. No one else might have done it for you. Maybe they did and you lost it. The stillness of being. It is all that is truly yours—everything else is on loan to you. This role, that relationship, my body. Enjoy it, but don’t identify with it. Whether you succeed or fail at any enterprise, you are not elevated…or diminished.
This is the domain of “I don’t mind what happens.” Non attachment. Whatever the challenge, anchor in non- judgement. Spacious awareness. We can churn at the level of the mind and create a problem out of thin air, or we can do inward and access the wisdom of our being selves. The wisdom of the gut brain…the silent brain, where we feel into our bodies and make effortless, wise choices.
Coming to know, coming to trust our authentic selves. Below the neck and in the felt sense.
The challenges will come—life is not meant to be easy.
Without the challenges there is no evolution. It is not the challenge of the day that makes a “good” day, or a “bad” day. It is where we show up from when the weather gets stormy.
This will determine whether we are in flow, or in a place of judgement and resistance. In flow, we are connected with the silent witness and with everything around us. We are in the healing field of space and formlessness. A space where powerful, unseen allies will conspire to blow wind in our sails. Not in the efforting, but in the letting go. Where there is wisdom beyond our wildest dreams. In the space between our thoughts.
So full circle:
Who am I?
What do I need?
What is my purpose?
Ask any guru worth his or her salt and the answer will be the same: meditate on it. The answer to each question is the same—thoughtless, spacious awareness. Your highest purpose is to anchor there…and when you lose it, come back.
When you feel the stress response, the aching heart, the fear, the insecurity… the story. You’ve lost it. Come back. Whatever the challenge, whatever the question. It might seem “complex.” The solution is not. Get out of your head
and into your breath. Forget trying to resist the turnings of the mind, simply step out of the ring and into the healing field. The stillness of being. Your inner divinity.
This is the domain of spontaneous right choice, spontaneous right action. Where you will feel into the correct path forward. You are in yoga. Yoga—ancient Sanskrit for union. Union of body, mind and spirit. What is our most important pose in yoga? Savasana. Corpse pose. In truth, no pose. Nowhere to go. Noting to do. Just be. Attachment to nothing and full of everything. No one else and nothing else is necessary. There are things I might want, but nothing I need. I am already whole. No condition.
The sole purpose of a human life is to advance as far as possible along the path of consciousness—Eckhart Tolle. The more challenging life becomes, the more we need to walk the path and anchor in who we really are. Challenges then become rocket fuel for the evolution of consciousness.
Time to wake up. You are here not by chance. I see you. Your ancestors see you. They muse collectively—we got a live one. A rare one. A human being, self-aware and conscious, while in embodied form. They will blow wind in your sails—calling in all their benevolent allies.
And all you need to do, is get out of the way.
THIS is “signal” music. The awareness of our signal through the hallways of time. In the cracks between thought. Listen to these with light switch down…
